The Road to Rediscover Joy for Widows
Moving from Numbness to Joy
One of the problems I find is that people don’t talk about death and the grief that follows. Studies show that support from friends and family lasts around six weeks, however grief goes on for your life time.
- Do you want to know if you’re grieving “correctly” but don’t know how?
- Do you want to share your feelings with others without feeling overwhelmed or out of control?
- Do you want to have supportive women around you but don’t know where to find them?
- Are you afraid of being alone and lonely and can’t find a way back into living life again?
- Are you afraid you’ll forget them but want to honour their memory to keep them alive and don’t know how?
Often your friends can’t support you well because they haven’t experienced their own grief. Your friends are well meaning and want you to be happy again and ‘Get on with your life’.
The problem is, you don’t know how to ‘Get on with your life’ without your partner. I always put ‘Get on with your life’ in quotation marks because you’re getting on with your life the best way you can but outside pressure from caring friends and family is too overwhelming.
Today I’m going to help you ‘Get on with your life’ your way.
What level are you?
Level 1: Numb
You’re in shock and have no idea about how or what to feel. You keep your feelings to yourself and don’t share them because you feel foolish and need to be strong.
It’s necessary for you to share your story so you can process your feelings and begin to become aware of your surroundings.
Level 2: Coping
Unless people learn to share feelings by authentically talking about them, without judgement, they’ll learn toxic positivity. Which is adapting to being positive all the time, it’s often referred to as “wearing a mask”.
Learning coping skills helps you become aware of your own boundaries to get through every day and further become understand and become aware of your own feelings.
Level 3: Curious
Once you’ve learnt new coping skills and what impact your environment has in general, you become curious as to how all this fits with your daily life. You start to notice how you are with others and what emotions are triggered.
You then put lessons into practice because you want to understand how it applies to yourself.
Level 4: Hope
People need hope. It assists in searching for and finding an outcome that makes life better and provides an optimistic outlook.
Understanding your own feelings leads to creating healthy boundaries and confidence in surrounding yourself with people who’ll support you in the way you need.
Having hope links your past with your present and your future.
Level 5: Joy
Being self-aware helps you know that you matter and deserve to feel your feelings and share your stories in the way you see fit. You feel comfortable with who you have become.
At this stage you’ll know that you belong, are confident to talk about your experiences and how you’re impacted by them.You find your support people, feel content in your life and create the life you’re comfortable with.
The Road to Rediscover Joy
Unhealthy caregiving comes to the fore when the caregiver hasn’t dealt with their own pain and suffering.
Self-care is an important first step and has many benefits. Sharing your feelings, helps you to become aware of your own needs and builds resilience.
Slowing down and taking care of yourself first boosts your immune system, improves self-compassion, get to know who you truly are and are able to give more to others. Self-care is crucial to keep you healthy physically, mentally and spiritually.
Connect with others
Knowing your needs and taking care of yourself helps build resilience and confidence to find your supportive women.
It’s important to surround yourself with people who:
- Understand what you’re going through
- Can sit and listen to you without trying to fix things
- Validate your feelings
- Support you in your decisions
- Can have a discussion with you and not cut you down
Humans are wired to connect with others and when we find the right people, life is enjoyable, you will thrive and not just survive.
Connect with self
Now that you’ve learnt about self-care and the women who support you, it’s time to connect in with your ‘Self’. This is self-concept and self-perception, it’s important because you can see how it affects your behaviour, motivation and attitude.
The image you have of yourself develops through interactions with others. Connecting with yourself builds stronger boundaries, self-care, self-awareness, self-love, self-confidence, self-worth and the bonus of having amazing people around you.
You will be happy to live life because:
* Less stressed
* Aware of yourself and others
* More focused
* Content with life
You’ll also be able to:
* Understand your grief
* Respond more positively
* Recognise your own worth
* Have hope
This day with Cait will help you start to understand your grief and start to talk to others about your loved one.
You will learn different coping skills and how to share your story with others. You’ll meet other women who have experienced the death of their partner and want to learn to live their life without them.
I hope you can join me?
- A one day workshop with Cait Wotherspoon
- Morning tea and lunch
- Goody bag
- Other women who have experienced the death of their partner during Covid
- Great conversation
Date: Friday 2nd September 2022
Time: 10am till 2pm
Venue: Percy Plunket 146 Station Street, Penrith, 2750 NSW
In the function room. It’s to the right as you walk in the front door.
Cait has a life time of experience in many different careers. She began as a Registered Nurse, where she specialised in Oncology and Palliative Care. She then attained a Bachelor of Education and taught Primary School and went on to teach literacy and numeracy to adult newly arrived refugees. From there Cait went on to attain her psychotherapy and psychology degrees.
Cait is a psychotherapist who specialises in grief, loss and bereavement. She has multiple degrees in nursing, teaching (from Primary School to adults), art therapy, sandplay therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) psychology and psychotherapy. She has a wealth of knowledge that has been gathered from practicing in all these fields over the past 47 years. She has a thriving private practice in Penrith, in the western suburbs of Sydney, Australia, where she’s helped thousands of clients navigate through their grief to live healthy lives, understanding that grief is now a part of their life.
Cait runs monthly workshops, weekly support groups, as well as working with individuals and couples, who are dealing with the death of a loved one.
She began to specialise in grief after her first miscarriage in April 1982. She felt that she couldn’t talk to anyone about it because they would minimise her grief, so she would feel shame for sharing her story and noticed that this was the case for most women.
Cait is passionate about talking about death and grief and wants people to share their stories of loss in order for everyone to understand that grief is a natural part of life. And we all have to go through it.