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7 Quick Tips on How to survive Valentine’s Day

How will I survive without my husband on celebration days, especially one that celebrates lovers?

A bit about my love

We have spent our lives together. We met at 17 years old and have known each other for almost 40 years.I don’t know what I will do without him.

I’m at the age where our friends are dying or being diagnosed with cancer. We have friends who’s partners have died. One friend actually died on Valentine’s Day, so it’s a sad reminder.

Just forget about it

You might want to forget about Valentine’s Day all together but it’s impossible to do that. Weeks before the day, the ads start on TV, there’s special chocolates and flowers and all sorts of advertising everywhere. You really hurt deep down inside, the pain excrutiating. There is no getting away from it, you just need to decide to do what you want to do and make it happen.

Here are a few helpful tips to survive this special celebration day.

1. Plan your day.

You don’t want to be sucked into some well meaning friends celebration. So, have a plan. You might like to meet up with some friends and go to dinner or a movie or just sit at home and read that book that you haven’t made time for. You could select a nice bottle of wine and go through old photos of the both of you. The day is yours, do what you feel comfortable doing.

2. Rename the day.

You could call it Love Day and take time for yourself. Make it a day to focus on you. Just like your partner did, when he/she was alive.

3. Journal

Write your feelings in a journal. This helps you sort out your feelings and emotions. Often you are overwhelmed by the waves of emotions and can’t remember being happy. A journal is a terrific way to get your thoughts out of your head onto paper and then when you close your journal, you often feel like a weight has been lifted.

4. Partner up with a friend

Talk to a friend about your loved one, remembering helps you cope with your grief. You might like to connect with another friend and exchange flowers, cards or chocolates. Make it a celebration of your friendship. Lots of laughter and chatting, always helps.

5. Honour your love

Continue with your Valentine’s Day tradition each year, to honour the love you had together.
You might like to light a candle.
Write a letter, poem, song or a message.
Write a card to them.
Be inventive, there is no limit to what you can do.

6. Support

You could have your family and friends (who understand what you’re going through) around you. Let them know you don’t want to be alone. If there is a grief support group in your area, they might have a get together, where you won’t feel alone, you’ll be with people who have walked in your shoes.

7. Focus on you

Make sure you take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, go for a walk, do the gardening, have a massage. Do what you want to do, don’t let others tell you what you should be doing. If it feels right for you, just do it.

I hope this helps. Leave a comment below, I’d love to hear your story.

If you’d like to talk to me grieving, death or anything else, contact me to talk about your needs and how you can achieve them.


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